Every weekday morning and evening, on hundreds of sites across this United States the Great Rush Hour pits driver against driver. These men and women have practiced for hours on end trying to outwit and cunningly defeat their opponent to be the first to cross the finish line. This means beating the clock and getting to work on time or in the evening by getting to the daycare without paying a penalty.
Methods of driving are as varied as the numbers of drivers behind the wheel. There is the Accelerating Driver who must go ahead as fast as possible to fill a void left by another car. The A/D must fill this void at all costs or he will lose precious time and Quality Points, Totaling the Quality Points determines the winner for every round. Unfortunately ice, snow, fog and other weather conditions will rule out the unskilled and unsuspecting drivers with an accident. Accidents as the name implies are unpredictable and may cause drivers to actually lose Quality Points. Some may argue that not enough Quality Points are surrendered at an accident scene to discourage this kind of driving.
Although the A/D is serious in his endeavor and is single minded in his approach, he may be good sport to play with. The scenario must be just right; the A/D must have a guardrail, curb or some other impenetrable object on one side and a slower vehicle in front of him. You creep up adjacent to the other side to prevent him from going around the slower vehicle. You must do this cunningly so an not to arouse his suspicion and the driver of the slower vehicle need not be a party to your actions. This type of maneuvering is good for hundreds of feet of roadway and many minutes of enjoyment. The only way an A/D can spoil this fun is to slow up and drop back to go around you.
The Weaver may be a variation of the A/D as he goes from empty spot to empty spot racking up what he thinks are Quality Points. Very little headway is actually gained and a lot of gasoline is used in this process. The Weaver may be a motorcyclist incognito. The Weaver is not easy to play with. You must have seen him in your rearview mirror and anticipate a spot he wished to jump into. An accident and loss of Quality Points can result from a misstep.
The Trumpeting Driver is a third variation with considering; he is not patient with other drivers ahead of him and must use his horn whenever a traffic light changes to green. His timing and reflexes are excellent as this change can happen in nanoseconds. If you happen to be in front of him, simply jump out of your car, pop open the hood and act as if you're in distress. This must be done during daylight with adequate visibility without taking your life in your hands. A single lane road in each direction adds to the excitement. The T/D will be forced to back up; as he has pulled too close to you in the first place, to allow himself room to move around you. He will not offer you assistance. Be prepared to loose a few Quality Points as others take a dim view of this action. But it is worth it to get back at a particularly offensive T/D.
The Cute Chick Driver may be difficult to spot but is well worth the effort once found. A CCD driving a low riding car or you in a taller SUV or minivan makes good eye candy. Extra special care must be taken so that the CCD will not cause you to loose contact with the car ahead of you, causing an accident and losing precious Quality Points.
The actor, Broderick Crawford of the TV series Highway Patrol once expressed a word of caution for all this frivolity; "leave your blood at the Red Cross and not on the highway." Safe driving everyone.
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