But it’s supposed to work

I tried to help my son install his new refrigerator but we ran into several problems. The new refrigerator was wider than the last one. This is not a problem in most instances but there were some very closely installed countertops. In order to get the new one in, a counter top had to be taken out and cut down. We wanted to install the icemaker but routing the water supply tubing proved to be an engineering project all in its own. Then all was ready and the supply line was tested, some minor tightening and we were ready to purge the line of air. However nothing happened; we heard water running but none came out of where it should have; however there was water on the floor.

A simple device—automatically filled ice cubes and cold water on demand should not been a problem but the machine didn't cooperate. Maybe it was trying to tell us "Go back to basics, fill the trays yourself." I started to think about other automatic devices that didn't work For example, the electric door locks on my car wouldn't open from the driver's side. I have to open it myself. My wife's' car has electrical heated windshield wipers when they're in the park position (I guess so they won't stick to a snow covered windshield). They don't work. My next neighbor's garage door opener doesn't work; he has to open it by hand. There's a video on YouTube which shows an Air France AirBus with the new flight computer that prevent the pilot from making extreme maneuvers. In this case the computer prevented in from gaining altitude too fast; a "fly-by-wire" if you will. The video shows the plane skimming across the runway and going past it into a forest of medium tall trees. You don't see the crash only the column of smoke from the impact site. Obviously that computer didn't work; and what was the most tragic, the pilot couldn't disengage it in time.

We put a lot of faith in gadgets that are supposed to help us get through the day—labor saving devices. Most of time they work and sometimes they don't. Here are some suggested automotive devices for the future:

1. Electrically operated brakes—the brake pedal only becomes a switch that when pressed transmits power to an electric motor which send brake fluid to all the wheel cylinders. There will be no direct contact with the brake fluid as there is currently. The "power brakes" of today are vacuum assisted from the engine.

2. Electrical steering—again little motors will push and pull the steering linkage in the direction we want to go. Currently we have a direct mechanical contact with our wheels, assisted by power steering fluid via a belt driven pump.

3. In order to operate all the extra electrical equipment, car voltage will be increased to 34 volts. The alternator will producing so much power that is will need to be cooled by antifreeze from the radiator via, you guessed it, an electric pump.

Now you can imagine when my electrical window lock wouldn't open I merely have to pull up on the door lock. When my neighbor's garage door doesn't open electrically he opens it by hand. When the ice cube maker doesn't work, you fill the trays with water and leave them to freeze. How do you steer a car or stop it with a failed single source electrical system?

K.

“It is better to look ahead & prepare than to look back & regret.” Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962 - )

The motto of the Boy Scouts is "Be prepared." Americans have taken this very much to heart. "Prepare for all eventualities." Can you really do that? We winterize our cars in order to be prepared. We change the oil, check and/or change the antifreeze, check the tires and rotate them if need be, get a tune up and change the filters. Are the brakes OK? Is the battery good or is it just "so—so" Do we get an alignment before or after the chuckhole season? Just to be safe, maybe we should do both.

The real hidden danger of all of this is that we think we have covered every base. We really delude ourselves into thinking that we have anticipated every instance of danger and we are "covered." Like car insurance we think we have full coverage. Of course it's the thing we haven't prepared for that we cause us grief. Remember the tires that we were supposed to have rotated. It's not just the tire wear that we are trying to maximize by moving the front tires to the rear, but also to made sure that the tire lug nuts are not rusted on or that the steel wheel rim is rusted unto the axle. Did the winterization include checking the spare tire? Is it low on air and rusted into it's last position or is it all set to go? Do we even know how to change a tire or will we be stuck on the side of the road due to our lack of knowledge of the procedure?

It is difficult to prepare for every circumstance in which we could have had something that we needed. If we did have everything we ever needed, our cars would be weighed down with all sort of contrivances. Remember 20/20 hindsight is great. Perhaps it is the training activity alone that gets us prepared for some type of action that we will need to take. At any rate, we have taken the first steps toward affirmative action.

K.

It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you." Kin Hubbard

Every weekday morning and evening, on hundreds of sites across this United States the Great Rush Hour pits driver against driver. These men and women have practiced for hours on end trying to outwit and cunningly defeat their opponent to be the first to cross the finish line. This means beating the clock and getting to work on time or in the evening by getting to the daycare without paying a penalty.

Methods of driving are as varied as the numbers of drivers behind the wheel. There is the Accelerating Driver who must go ahead as fast as possible to fill a void left by another car. The A/D must fill this void at all costs or he will lose precious time and Quality Points, Totaling the Quality Points determines the winner for every round. Unfortunately ice, snow, fog and other weather conditions will rule out the unskilled and unsuspecting drivers with an accident. Accidents as the name implies are unpredictable and may cause drivers to actually lose Quality Points. Some may argue that not enough Quality Points are surrendered at an accident scene to discourage this kind of driving.

Although the A/D is serious in his endeavor and is single minded in his approach, he may be good sport to play with. The scenario must be just right; the A/D must have a guardrail, curb or some other impenetrable object on one side and a slower vehicle in front of him. You creep up adjacent to the other side to prevent him from going around the slower vehicle. You must do this cunningly so an not to arouse his suspicion and the driver of the slower vehicle need not be a party to your actions. This type of maneuvering is good for hundreds of feet of roadway and many minutes of enjoyment. The only way an A/D can spoil this fun is to slow up and drop back to go around you.

The Weaver may be a variation of the A/D as he goes from empty spot to empty spot racking up what he thinks are Quality Points. Very little headway is actually gained and a lot of gasoline is used in this process. The Weaver may be a motorcyclist incognito. The Weaver is not easy to play with. You must have seen him in your rearview mirror and anticipate a spot he wished to jump into. An accident and loss of Quality Points can result from a misstep.

The Trumpeting Driver is a third variation with considering; he is not patient with other drivers ahead of him and must use his horn whenever a traffic light changes to green. His timing and reflexes are excellent as this change can happen in nanoseconds. If you happen to be in front of him, simply jump out of your car, pop open the hood and act as if you're in distress. This must be done during daylight with adequate visibility without taking your life in your hands. A single lane road in each direction adds to the excitement. The T/D will be forced to back up; as he has pulled too close to you in the first place, to allow himself room to move around you. He will not offer you assistance. Be prepared to loose a few Quality Points as others take a dim view of this action. But it is worth it to get back at a particularly offensive T/D.

The Cute Chick Driver may be difficult to spot but is well worth the effort once found. A CCD driving a low riding car or you in a taller SUV or minivan makes good eye candy. Extra special care must be taken so that the CCD will not cause you to loose contact with the car ahead of you, causing an accident and losing precious Quality Points.

The actor, Broderick Crawford of the TV series Highway Patrol once expressed a word of caution for all this frivolity; "leave your blood at the Red Cross and not on the highway." Safe driving everyone.