Assumptions are the termites of Relationships” Henry Winkler (1945- )

Have you ever walked into a darkened room or house and knew exactly where you where going? You had no fear of bumping into something because you had the layout of this room in your mind; you could navigate it with your eyes closed or blindfolded. You were able to do this because of past experiences; unless the furniture had been recently moved or an object such as a toy had been left in the way, you won't even stub your toe. You had complete confidence in your ability to get around.

We use this ability of ours to navigate through all the areas of our life, we use it in our relationships with one another, in our sexual intimacies, even while driving to work (that's why we can drive and attempt to talk on the cell phone at the same time). Just like in the cell phone and driving combo can wind up to be a potential hazard so can the unexpected roadblock cause our relationships at work to go awry, our marriage to falter, or our sexual intimacies to get stale. We took them for granted, we knew the layout with our eyes closed or with a blindfold over our heads and then we hit a stumbling block.

"How could this have happened?" we ask ourselves. "What did we do to deserve this?" We did the same thing most of us have done; we didn't look for stumbling blocks. We didn't look for the light switch, we just assumed. We assumed that everything was the same as we left it last time–unchanged, unmoved and immobile. But, life is not a stagnant world, it is dynamic, moving and ever changing. That servicemen coming home from Iraq will have definitely changed. That little girl or boy was not always going to remain the same way forever; they were going to change. That job is not going to remain stagnant, technology will see to that. The same applies to our mates; the relationship evolves as well, we cannot assume anything.

K.