My Daddy’s Name Is Donor

Dr. S. K., a Nassau County New York doctor donated his sperm to a work colleague, a female resident, Dr. P.D., at his hospital so she could conceive a child for herself and her female partner. At the time of the baby's birth in 1989, the man orally agreed he would not have any rights or benefits in the child's upbringing. He included his name on the child's birth certificate, saying it would give the boy an identity, courts documents revealed. He further blurred the lines between donor and full-time father by sending money, presents and cards signed "Dad" and "Daddy," and having phone chats with the now college-bound teen. The father said he had contact with the child from his birth until 1993, when the lesbian couple and his son moved to Oregon. The contact dropped to seven phone calls in the past 15 years and one meeting for a few hours three years ago. He was assured that he would have no responsibility on his part and of course 18 years has elapsed where there hasn't been responsibility.

Dr. S. K.'s goodwill backfired: A court ruling says he is now liable for financial support of the 18-year-old, who lives with his mother in Oregon. "He did not anticipate this would happen now, when the child is almost an adult, that the mother would come forward for child support," said his lawyer. The child signed an affidavit stating that he has "never known anyone other than Dr. S. K. to be his father," according to court documents. If payments were to go ahead, the child support would be determined based on the mother's earning capacity; the reported income of her partner, who is also a doctor; and the father's income.

Consider a case before the Kansas Supreme Court. An unmarried woman in her early thirties decided that she wanted a child and asked a friend to be a sperm donor. He agreed, and she gives birth to twins. The mother says that she always intended to raise the kids alone and never wanted the friend involved in their lives. The donor says that he planned to be the twins' father in name and practice. There was no written contract. A lower Kansas trial court ruled that without a contract, the twins have no father. The man who provided half of the children's genetic material has no relationship to them.

Now let us toss in the Artificial Insemination industry. Every year more than 80,000 women are inseminated artificially with sperm from men they do not know. In their attempt to have a baby, they may unknowingly be putting themselves at risk of contracting infectious diseases, such as AIDS and hepatitis, and the baby at risk of genetic defects. In some cases, the outcome of the health of the baby can be like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to go off in a few short months or decades later.

In most cases, couples choose artificial insemination with donor semen because the husband is infertile. The increasingly popular technique - which has spawned a $164 million a year industry with 11,000 private physicians, 400 sperm banks and infertility centers - is responsible for the birth of 30,000 babies annually.

Dr. Cappy Miles Rothman, who runs the nation's largest sperm bank, the California Cryobank, in Los Angeles, says that many physicians are reluctant to keep records on the grounds that men would not donate semen if they thought their identities could become known. The California Cryobank does keep donor records, but Rothman speculates that many donors ''worry that if their children could figure out who they are, might try to claim their estate or one day pop-up and say, 'Hi, Dad' ''

As the count system tries to unravel these mysteries on a case-by-case basis, we can only second-guess the judges' rulings. The biblical Solomon would have been a nervous wreck with all the potential problems brought before his throne. Can the parents of a sperm donor be the grandparents? Do they have visitation rights? Can a child conceived through Artifical Insemination inherit property from the biological father? Can a child have two lesbian mothers and no father or two mothers and a father? Can the lesbian partner of a biological mother have custody rights if the couple breaks up? Does the woman have the right to visit the child she diapered, fed, and read to for five years before she and her partner split up? Can she be required to pay child support? Once again, who are the grandparents?

K.